Leticia Haley's Blog

More about me, if you want to know. Lol

Leticia Haley — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 23:02:08 +0000

Besides reading the “about me” page, I really haven’t indulged too much information about my personal life. There are a couple reasons for that. One is that, in a way, I’m just like most people. Working and making a living in a full/time career. So, I saw no sense in making my writings or opinions having anymore weight than your own. I do enjoy writing. It gets quite personal for me on an emotional and spiritual level. The physical level just doesn’t seem that interesting and I have a fear that if I show weakness than I can’t be an example. Which really, is just the opposite. So, I’m using this blog post to tell you more about my thoughts on ‘real life’, not the one that we are destined to become but starting off right where we are.

I work at Sea World as a filtration technician. It’s a pretty title but basically I filter Shamu poop. Lol I’ve had a very good string of jobs, all of which I was proud to work. I’ve been employed with sea world for over 12 years. I started out as an underwater maintenance diver. That was fun but it got old after a few years. So, in time, I transferred to another position in the Water Quality department and this is where I reside now.

Im a native of Ohio, transplanted to Florida in 1986. This is where I spent middle school and high school, in Flagler Beach, just north of Daytona. I married at 17 and moved to ‘the Big City’ of Orlando. It was culture shock for a teen who grew up in rural, small neighborhood domains.

My first marriage lasted seven years And my second lasted ten. I do have regrets and I have hurt people that I love. I have no children and no plans. I’m not a social butterfly and prefer writing over talking, although I don’t mind public speaking.

One of my job titles from the past was assistant curator at Rainforest Cafe. I spoke to groups both on and off property about the rainforest and it’s animals with the assistance from our resident parrots. That was fun.

Other than that, my life has followed many paths of interests and relationships but I felt like I have progressed thru them all…. Until now, I’m stuck in unforgiveness and fear but I know I’ll reach the other side with new insights and strength. After all, we can only do the best we can do with what we have. Hindsight is always clearer but if we knew ahead the outcome and consequences of our decisions than it might interfere with our free will.

Blessings

~ Leticia Haley

A fellow blogger.

Leticia Haley — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 18:06:38 +0000

Get to know me!.

Follow the above link to check out another aspiring writer.

Make no Mistake

Leticia Haley — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 14:37:53 +0000

I write today of only one thing. Guilt. It was best explained in a spiritual aspect from Neale Donald Walsch, in his book, Conversations With God Book 3, pg. 5.

“Guilt and fear are the only enemies of man. There is no such thing as “wrong”. There is only that which does not serve you; does not speak the truth about Who You Are, and Who You Choose to Be. Guilt is the feeling that keeps you stuck in who you are not. “

Living in the Now

Leticia Haley — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 21:27:52 +0000

If I were a bird, I would soar to the heavens and take my place among the angels.

If I were a butterfly, I would show my brilliant colors while staying camouflaged in the forest.

If I were a lion, I would yawn and know the day is preparing for my next sprint.

If I were a raccoon, I would climb to the highest limb.

But I am me, a voice among the many and a soul whose desire is to see the diamonds in the sky, the Saturn rings up close, the frost on the mountain in the early morning light and the smile from the love of my life.

Where it hurts.

Leticia Haley — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 18:08:04 +0000

There is an awakening so why do I feel left out? Stuck in the physical and I can’t seem to get out
Of my head that fantasizes about the other side
Life is so mundane when I don’t try.
The easy escape is taunting me
With its grasp in superficial reality.
The mantras with their positives ways
Have no effect when I’m feeling this way.
The ghosts of yesteryear is pulling at my legs
Wanting to guide me down destructive ways.
Why must I continue to fight these fears and face another day with more tears
Keep falling down my cheek. I try and hold it in so I don’t feel weak
In the knees I buckle down and be forever lost in my
Drowning with fright an facing time alone
I cannot see past my closet of bones.
Mistakes I have made and forgiven myself for few
I know I must though if I am to move
On to the future and whatever lies ahead.
I must believe in my heart that my dreams are not dead.
I cry with sorrow and hold my shield
Tattered with battle scars and shiny no more
The world was once my canvas that I could explore
Like a child I frolicked in the sun
Not knowing that rain would someday come
To me and to others for we are all alike
In the aspect that we each have our own battles to fight.
Mine is no greater than the one you had to endure
It’s just that I write to mirror my emotions
To get a grasp and a visual of my minds commotion.
Tomorrow is yet another day. Hold my hand and we will face it
Head on because there is no other way.

The Death of a Star

Leticia Haley — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 00:05:16 +0000

The most brilliant light can be a faded memory that ceases to become the past. The virutal idiosyncrasies that someone with whom you didn’t last. The love and the laughter that was shared was all a stepping stone although you still don’t know to where. And although the connection that once was is now severed, the light from them will shine throughout the centuries. The good byes are heard and then let go like a stone skipping across the surface of the water, the ripples expand and then fade away.

This is the story of the ages. the ones that have loved and lost, held tight and then let go. fell and have gotten back up and for those who are still waiting to arise from the ashes like the phoenix gaining flight. they will once again soar although it may be after this life. For nothing is guaranteed but for this I can assure that things have a reason and Gods plan will endure through the laughter and the tears. The triumphs and the fears our love expands to touch every man.

Sit and wait or hold on tight. The road ahead may be bumpy or out of sight. The pavers are adjusted with each decision made. The contours of our life are carved for our good to help us become all that we should.

You’re not alone

Leticia Haley — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 17:17:58 +0000

On those days when it’s hard to see the light even though the sky is bright, you’re not alone.
When the emotions rage inside and you just want to hide, you’re not alone.
When you ponder your existence and see life superficialness, you’re not alone.
When you scream inside and no one sees you cry, you’re not alone.
When you go deep inside and still cannot hide, you’re not alone.
When everywhere you go, there you are, you’re not alone.
When all you want is an escape route, you’re not alone.
When the thoughts of afterlife do not bring strife, you’re not alone.
When the hum drum of daily living exceeds your mental giving, you’re not alone.
When you put on your facade to show your unfelt strength, you’re not alone.
When your god seems out of touch and beyond your reach, you’re not alone.
When it’s hard to find your purpose and the road is darkened ahead, your not alone.
When your scared and tomorrow is nothing but a dread, you’re not alone.
When knowing that you’re not alone does not ease the pain, your human and the sun will shine again. Your path will eventually become clear. Your love will return. Your candor and smile will no longer stay inside. Your days will be cherished and your tomorrows will have goals. For, you are loved. You are cherished. You have a plan and a purpose in this life that only you can fulfill.
~

A new year awaits

Leticia Haley — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 14:57:46 +0000

So, I’ve done it. I have successfully lived in the physical for over a year. I have wallowed in doubt and unforgiveness of myself, and became both the judge and jury of my actions. 2011 has been a year of turmoil and change. I’m looking forward to 2012 being a year of forgiveness, acceptance, and awakening from my slumber. Looking back over my past blogs, it’s hard to recognize that person who was so positive and adventurous. I have become a shell of a person and my spirit is longing to be set free. Pray for me. Pray for the depression to lift and the blossom of forgiveness to grow forth from me. I long for the spiritual closeness that I held so dear. Thank you for reading. I can no longer be a stranger to myself and those that love me.

Personal Transformation Journey: Day 5

Leticia Haley — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 01:05:29 +0000

I had an embarrassing moment this morning, in front of a few coworkers. So embarrassing that I’m now going to share it. I dropped my motorcycle, which means it fell down. Luckily, neither I nor the bike was hurt in the process but I did ge a bruised ego, which led me to analyze why I felt so critical of myself. Like I’ve said before, I try for perfection so when I make a mistake I condemn myself. Why? Who am I trying to please? Why do I care what others think about me?

I wanted to get beyond the superficial reasoning of having an embarrassing oops and really understand where the embarrassment
was coming from. So, I continued to probe the reasons why I needed to prove to others that I’m capable, that I’m independent and strong. Isn’t it a lot of pressure to continually put on a facade of not needing others? Why am I so afraid to need help? Would that be an acknowledgement to myself that I cannot meet my own unattainable standards? Why do I set the bar so high?

I came to the realization that nobody else really cared about how imperfect I was. My oops just let me know that I was imperfect like everyone else and in that state of imperfection is the need to need others. No matter how strong or independant I want to be, it would be a shame to alienate others due to my ego wanting all the credit. I’m still strong but in a humble way and hopefully I can use my strengths to help someone else in their time of oops.

Namaste
~Leticia

Personal Transformation Journey: Day 4

Leticia Haley — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 21:36:21 +0000

Follow The Peace.
That’s what I plan to do because everytime I start weighing in different options a small whirlwind of chaos settles in my belly. I become , in an essence, unsettled. The breakthrough of peace I had yesterday was a great example to myself of how I can easily disrupt the natural flow of energy around me. I felt secure and content with a decision and then I kept on analyzing. Doubts crept in and I felt turmoil welling up inside. It was like a yoyo. Doubting equaled uncertainty while steadfastness gave me peace. Acceptance brought about peace. Maybe that’s how I’ll know which road to go down, by the way I feel. I’ll follow the peace.

So, right now, I am still peaceful and content with my circumstances. I will not worry or fret, second guess or doubt but believe that the Divine is intervening, as always.

Not to change subjects but I would like to thank J.R. For his words of encouragement and Richie for his following. I often find myself muh more comfortable with the written word than talking in person. When I write I can bypass the formality and touch the soul waiting beyond the surface of formalities and greetings. How ackward would it be to walk up to a stranger or friend and say, How does your soul feel right now?.
Writing this blog exposes my innermost being, my passions and insecurities. What I write goes out into cyberspace for all to see and critique and analyze. I do not take this task lightly nor do I write to gain anything but a uniting of souls on one path, one journey, one love.